Ashes.

Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent in those of us that live in Catholic-land (actually, several religions observe Lent, but I suppose we make the biggest deal about it). For us, Lent marks a time of sacrifice and restriction. We give things up. We work to better ourselves. It's a reserved time throughout the Church.

 (the ashes are made from palms from last year's Palm Sunday)

Ash Wednesday itself is a day of fasting. For us, this means 2 small meals, one regular meal, and no snacking. Coffee, tea, juice, and water are allowed to be drank - but generally drinks like milkshakes, pop, and alcohol (other than wine at church) are avoided. We also don't eat meat on Fridays - only fish. It can be done pretty easily, but for someone who eats meat regularly (like me), it requires some planning - or I end up having PBJ for lunch.

Traditionally, the idea is to give something up for these 40 days (not including Sundays, which I think is weird). I haven't given anything up since high school - instead, I make a goal to better myself. This year, it's to work out 3 times a week and pray more.

It's also a very reserved time in the Church. We don't say "Hallelujah". Weddings and baptisms don't happen very often during Lent (because they're celebrations). Often parts of our mass that are usually accompanied by singing are now silent. Penance and reconciliation are encourage.

It's a strange time. But it's calming. And I kinda like it. It makes Easter so much sweeter.

New Year, Better Me.

One of the blogs I follow, Make It and Love It, is participating in a New Year New You thingamabob. She keeps blogging about all of this healthy stuff, and it's really inspiring. Yes, she gets a bunch of freebies from sponsors, but still. I've decided that this year my goal is to be healthier. I can't afford to live in the college life of chips and pizza 3 meals a day (yes, I would do that, and not gain a pound!). I'm getting older (hah! I'm only 23...but it's happening). I can tell my metabolism is slowing down - I need more sleep at night and I gain weight easier. My hangovers after a night out are much worse. I need to start taking care of myself.

The past two months, I've been doing that like it's my job. Sean and I joined a gym, and we go no less than 2x a week (though we shoot for 3 or 4). Thursday, I ran a mile for the first time since 2009. It took me 12 minutes, sure, but I did it. We found some gift cards left from the wedding (a year ago - whoops), and we bought a scale with it - it tells us body fat, water, and muscle mass percentage too. It gives us motivation to target the smaller numbers, as opposed to just our weight.

I've been trying to cook healthier, and we eat out less. I finally went to the dentist last week after 2 years (because let's face, dental health is still a part of your health!). Thankfully I only had one cavity, and I got that taken care of today. 

I need to get new glasses, now that I have eye insurance again.

I'm also thinking about looking into a chiropractor - I've never been to one, but it seems like I have a headache at least every third day lately, and I hear they can work wonders for stuff like that. Do I need to get a referral to go? Anyone know?

In any case, I'm really glad we're doing this. I find myself happier now (and the seasons are helping with that!). It makes me feel good about myself when I hit those goals. Here's to hoping I can keep it up this year!!

A Creative Funk.

Lately, I've been in a creative funk. I don't know what's going on...but the things that normally inspire me, the things I'm itching to do...no desire. Not a bit. Craftiness is my hobby, and I've always been crafty. Hell, I'm sure if I was 5-10 years older, I'd be in the mommy-blogger gangs of craftiness and hominess and baby activities (hopefully I can sort of avoid that urge).

A lot of it has to do with my lack of home-ownership I think. It seems that lately so many people I know are buying houses, and I desperately want to join those ranks. Now, don't get me wrong - I love my little rental house, and it's definitely the hominess place I've ever lived in, but it's not MY house. And I know that. I also know that we can't afford to buy a house and then have to sell it right away. Plus, I'm really trying to get my car paid off before buying a house.

I just feel stalemated. I feel like I'm trapped here in this moment and at this intersection in my life. But until Sean graduates, there's nothing I can do about it. It's frustrating, but I knew this going in. I knew this was how it was going to be. And we only have a little over a year and a half of this left, and we'll be free.

And then.

Then we will buy a house, and I will create like a mofo for it. And life will be good.

Smidgens.

-We're super short handed at work. I've been working 10 hour days lately, and I'm constantly switching between locations. Hopefully they'll hire a new full timer soon, and I can have a little bit of my life back.

-I'm really frustrated by my taxes this year. I have to pay two state taxes this year, which majorly sucks. Normally I use TurboTax, but the idea of paying $28 for EACH state kinda makes me angry. The money is going to debts anyway, so I'm not overly anxious for it. So I'll wait a bit while I decide what to do.

-Sean's been applying for jobs all over the place. He had an interview for tomorrow, but they called him today saying that they've already filled the position. It's really frustrating that he doesn't even get a chance to interview.

-I've kinda lost motivation for everything lately. I get into funks every once in a while, and this is definitely one. I just want to curl up in bed. I'm hoping to take this weekend to recoup and get stuff done. That should help immensely.