(Part 1: Band) I'm going to break up my life-changing blogs. Fyi.
It's been a big week. So many life changing events have happened, and it's getting kind of unbelievable. I mean, I knew these things were coming. But, when it all comes down to it, who is ever ready to open their arms and embrace change fully? On one hand, I'm ready to be moving on. I've noticed it a lot this last year - I'm more mature. I think a lot of it has to do with most of the guard girls being either freshmen or sophomores, but I feel a big difference between us. I can tell I'm ready to move on. But at the same time, I know that these past 3 1/2 years have been amazing. I've met some of the greatest friends I know I'll ever have, and I've had some of the greatest times. I know that I'm going to miss it.
Saturday. Saturday was the last home game that I will ever perform in. The last time I will be on.the.field. of Faurot. Since I won't be at the game this Saturday (MIZ-BEAT kU!), I will only have the opportunity to perform with Marching Mizzou one more time, at a bowl game. That will be the last time I will wear my uniform, and quite possibly the last time I will ever spin a flag, at least in performance. It's hard to attribute the term "last" to something that defines so much of who I am, and something that I enjoy so much.
Marching Mizzou has been my life. People ask how I can be defined by something like it, but it's easy. I've spent 20 hours a week with these people - they are my best.friends. I have spent countless hours writing routine, teaching girls, sewing flags, taping flags, assigning numbers, and dealing with uniforms. Hell, I only have 3 topics of conversation: band, football, and wedding. I have spent the last 4 years at Mizzou, the last 7 years on color guard, and the last 13 years in some form of band. Music. It's my THING.
I remember when I joined color guard. I've always been about music interpretation. Mr. Holland's Opus is by far one of my favorite movies. I feel like everyone should be able to understand the rush of a musician - the heart-pounding emotion that comes with playing. When I was younger, my aunt always used to take me to variety shows at her old high school. She had been on the dance team, and they performed there. But I was always more interesting in the winter guard. When I switched to South, I mentioned it to the band instructor. She pointed to towards outdoor marching, and I was hooked. You put a flag in my hands, and music in the air, and I feel what to do. It's there.
I don't know what I'm going to feel next fall. I mean, I stop spinning every winter and spring, anytime it's not football season. We shall see.