Monday, November 2, 2009

Weekends and Moving Talks.

I love weekends. Not because they mean no class and no work and usually mean football games, but because the weekend means that I get to see Sean.

Sean and I are in a long-distance relationship. We have been for almost our entire dating career, minus 1 semester. That makes 4 years of long distance. We're apart more often than we are together, but in the long run, it's made us a better couple. I've had many friends look at our relationship and assume it's not hard, but they also don't see the tears and the fights that Sean and I have had together (we keep our fighting very private). I've seen too many instances where one or other doesn't want to put in the work. Early on, Sean and I would only see each other once every 3 weeks or so. But, we were young and our relationship was young, so it wasn't a big deal. We've progressed to seeing each other every weekend, come hell or high water. Yes, it means that occasionally I miss out on plans my friends have made, and yes, my grades could be better if it wasn't for the 3 hours I spend in a car when I go see him. But it has made us stronger. I don't regret the thousands of miles put on my car, even though it essentially was the reason that both Sean and I have bought new cars in college. One this it has done, that I really like, is that it's made us sure that we're going to make it - no one works this hard for a relationship they're not absolutely sure about.

One thing we've learned over the years is to not make big decisions or talk about serious subjects apart. If we think of something we need to talk about in person, we write it down and discuss it at some point over the weekend. It really helps, because it allows us to see each other's reactions, and we don't make decisions based on what we think the other wants.

This weekend we discussed moving. I want to live with Sean as soon as possible. I'm tired of being apart. Once we find out where he's going to school, we'll be moving - together. However, Sean doesn't find out until February, and we both graduate in December. We've been toying with the idea of him moving here as soon as school was done (well, right after the new year). But in thinking about it, we came across the job issue. Yes, Sean is qualified to a job as an assistant manager somewhere, and probably make the same that he's making now back home. But it seems silly that he only works somewhere for 3-6 months, and then leaves. We've both been on the trainer end of employment, and training someone who leaves right after sucks. He could also just stay in StP until we move, but then we'll basically be playing a game when we take a U-Haul from his house, to my house, to my apartment before finally trekking to wherever we might be going. That doesn't really sound appealing to either of us. But we might have found a solution. Sean is going to stay in StP and work, at least until he finds out what school he'll be going to. After that, he'll slowly move down here (being an hour apart means it doesn't have to be done all in one trip). We want him out of work as little as possible, since he won't be working for 3 years. But if he's in StP there's no rent or any payments or the like, so it'll be easier for him to save and add money to our joint account. Meanwhile, I'll be job hunting wherever we plan on going (and figuring out how to do that will be another step...). When I get a job out there, or by June (whichever comes first), we'll pack up and go. We'd like to stay here as long as possible too, cause I'm still paying rent through July.

In the words of Peter Pan, "To die would be an awfully great adventure"- I'm hoping moving will be just as great.

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