Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The closer it gets, the harder it gets.

Sean and I are rapidly nearing the end of our 5 year long distance relationship. In a few short weeks, we will be living together, and, hopefully, will never have to deal with this crap again. As much as I've grown to appreciate the strength the distance has given us (and the independence, growth, and communication skills!), I really am sick of it. Especially since we've been pushing our "move in" date back further each day, or so it seems, it sometimes feels as though it's never going to end. First, it was going to be in January. Then, it was March. Finally, it was June. Now, the date is July 10th. And it is not changing.

We would love to move the first weekend of July, but the Fourth is a big day in my family. My grandpa's a councilman with the City of Bridgeton, so he's always involved with the festivities (though I must admit, growing up and being on the floats as a little was always awesome). My cousins were born on the 3rd and the 6th, so my aunt grills and has a big party during the day (they're 13 and 11 this year!), and then the whole family trucks over to Bridgeton in the evening - with free "VIP" parking. It's so much fun, and as a result, the 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays, without a doubt. Moving on Saturday isn't an option either. My dad is the big mover, and would be a huge help lifting things, but he has to work on Saturdays. We're figuring that we can get a U-Haul trailer on Saturday night, pack it with Sean's stuff and the few remaining things I have at my parents' house (which is really just books, blankets, and lawn chairs), and be ready to head to Columbia on Sunday. We could easily get to CoMo by 9 am, and be gone by lunch time (you think I'm kidding? My family packed and moved someone from Tulsa to St. Louis is less than 24 hours - it's an 8 hour drive each way!). With Sean's parents' Pathfinder, my mom's van, and dad's truck, we should have no problem fitting everything (really, it's the bed and kitchen table - the couch fits in my mom's van), especially with our cars as well. We'll just caravan down the interstate.

As strange as it sounds though, each time Sean and I separate, it feels like it gets harder. We're so close we can taste it. It's so frustrating. I want to pull up roots, and get the hell outta dodge. I'm done driving 100 miles each way every weekend, the phone calls, the annoyance because we can't be with each other. We could live in a complete and total shithole for all I care (but we're not), as long as I'm with him. Next month is gonna be a good month.


Caryn said...

It will be here before you know it. The last month of our engagement was the absolute hardest for us., but it doesn't last forever. You've been strong enough to wait this long, July 10th is just right around the corner.

Amberdawn said...

I hear you. I thought it was going to be easier leaving England for 6 months once Adam and I were engaged, but in a way it was harder. Like our connection was stronger, so being apart felt even more wrong than ever. I can't wait to set a moving date. Just need to wait and see when he can get a visa.

Amberdawn said...

Oh hey, just realized, July 10? That's the day I'm hopping a plane to spend the summer with him! Totally going to be a good day :D