Nervous.

(May 29th)

Our first appointment is tomorrow. Nervous does not begin to entail how I'm feeling.

Why?

I'm nervous because of the possibility of things not being there.

I'm nervous something is there but not in the right place.

But I'm also excited. I'm almost 8 weeks. I think. I'm excited to learn how far I really am. I really hope they do an ultrasound. I want to see this little nugget I'm growing. I want to hear a flickering little heartbeat. I want to see Sean's face when he sees that.

I want to announce it to the world. And I've vowed to not tell anyone else (I've kind of told a few too many people already) until I have a doctor's affirmation.

I want to tell our families. I'm SO excited to tell our families.

Now please, just let this all be real. Let it work out. Let it be perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a smart ass kid who will give us hell one day.